* Monday, May 05, 2003*

-no point harbouring hopes when all is lost-
SMASHING THOTS CAME CRASHING ONTO ME....
like...wat am i supposed to do?
i cant face up to anytink rite now...
fell on my knees during worship today...
it was definitely the prompting of the Holy Spirit...
my knees felt so totally wobbly...
totally shaky-jelly-like knees..
felt so crushed....
i lost it all...
~
i feel all alone.....
all alone in a big hse...
facing up to it all...
an empty place where deres no warmth to tok abt....
no person to relate to....
juz me-myself-i...
how nice can tht be.....
simply
its doesnt feel at all gud....
not at all sucha wonderful feeling aft all..
i wanna get outta here...
dunt wanna stay in tis isolated place where nothing eva matters again...
nothing ever will again....
~
~
i want a love I can see
thts e only kind tht means a thing to me
dont want a love you have to tell me abt
tht kind of lovin' I can sure do without
~
I want a love I can feel
thts e only kind of lovin I think is real
dont wanna be goin by something I heard
cause dear, action speaks louder than words
~
I want a love tht is mine
in e rain or in e sunshine
a love tht will keep me warm when its cold
e kind of lovin' tht will never grow old
~
I want a love I can see
e kind of lovin you could give to me
e kind of kisses to make me melt
e kind of lovin tht can really reveal
~
i want to love
i want to feel
i want to experience sth real
i want to have e love i neva had...
to feel sth tht two wld share...
~
you pulled me in,
then ur letting me crawl out myself,
leaving me to fend for myself..
struggling in pain n misery..
~
dont u tink its all e false hopes tht u gave me tht allowed me to feel...
much to my disbelieve...
it was all balderdash
~
i didnt know how you feel,
i wldn't know how u felt,
and e worse is,
i didnt do anytink to find out the truth,
all i know rite now,
is i love you.
onli you.
~
~tas

Tas_anne @ Monday, May 05, 2003